We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she smelled like a LAN party
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
