New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
