drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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