So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I have peed in a lot of sinks
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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