Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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