I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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