I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
