I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
