I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize