capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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