Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You're like the curious george of whores
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
