I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
