you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
