The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
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