I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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