How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
