Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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