So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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