yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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