he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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