i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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