Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
