Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
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I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
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I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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