I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
