2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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