i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
