is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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