I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize