Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
