Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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