maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
