Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
