We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
