i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
