happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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