3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
