I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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