Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i love accidental penises.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
