Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
