haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize