Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
