no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
what the fuck happened to the tacos
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
