She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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