I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We left the knife in your bed.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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