Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
