You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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