on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
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a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
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I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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