So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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