I'm lost and stupid without you.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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