So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
