i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
