Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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