Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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