hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
